it's a beautiful friday
i know that i can't complain. i know that i am one of the luckiest JETs around. that while everyone else i know has to go into school every day and sit at their desks and do absolument rien, i'm free to roam the bike paths of shibata, hop on a bus to tokyo, laze on the beach...
but, no matter how much i try not to, i end up feeling just useless. unstructured days, time...and to make matters worse, the dread of returning to school looms above me every moment.
and then it's never as bad as i imagine it to be. and, in fact, i think that my overall mental state is actually much better once i've started school again. i start to get excited about evenings and weekends. i feel as though i've done something at the end of my day. i feel a sense of motivation once again.
maybe that's the friday talking.
so last night i had the chance to experience something that i wish i hadn't had to. on tuesday morning, one of my eikaiwa students died quite suddenly and unexpectedly. the funeral was held last night. the godsend tomoko accompanied me, and instructed me on what to do. the men wear all black with a white shirt, and the women wear all black from head to toe. everyone is to bring a special funeral envelope with a minimum of Y3000 in it, the better you know the person, the more money you donate (to help the family with the funeral costs). it was held in a large ceremony hall which was filled chock-a-block on all sides with gigantic flower arrangements. at the front was an altar (buddhist style, which looked like a carved wooden temple). at one point all of the guests were invited up to the altar. you must walk up to the front, bow to the family, then bow to the rest of the guests. then go up to where the incense is burning. bow once, take a pinch of incense and three times put it on the flame. pray, bow, and then bow to the family again and return to your seat. during this whole time, a monk is seated at the front and repeatedly chanting, and striking a large ceramic bowl which makes a big dong! after everyone has prayed and lit their incense, the husband made a speech. it was obviously quite emotional because quite a few people broke down as he was speaking.
there were quite a few people from my eikaiwa class there, and afterwards when we went to pay our condolences to her husband and children ("goshuushosamadeshita"), he told us how much she loved english and would always tell him how much she wanted to travel abroad. kanashiikatta.
but, no matter how much i try not to, i end up feeling just useless. unstructured days, time...and to make matters worse, the dread of returning to school looms above me every moment.
and then it's never as bad as i imagine it to be. and, in fact, i think that my overall mental state is actually much better once i've started school again. i start to get excited about evenings and weekends. i feel as though i've done something at the end of my day. i feel a sense of motivation once again.
maybe that's the friday talking.
so last night i had the chance to experience something that i wish i hadn't had to. on tuesday morning, one of my eikaiwa students died quite suddenly and unexpectedly. the funeral was held last night. the godsend tomoko accompanied me, and instructed me on what to do. the men wear all black with a white shirt, and the women wear all black from head to toe. everyone is to bring a special funeral envelope with a minimum of Y3000 in it, the better you know the person, the more money you donate (to help the family with the funeral costs). it was held in a large ceremony hall which was filled chock-a-block on all sides with gigantic flower arrangements. at the front was an altar (buddhist style, which looked like a carved wooden temple). at one point all of the guests were invited up to the altar. you must walk up to the front, bow to the family, then bow to the rest of the guests. then go up to where the incense is burning. bow once, take a pinch of incense and three times put it on the flame. pray, bow, and then bow to the family again and return to your seat. during this whole time, a monk is seated at the front and repeatedly chanting, and striking a large ceramic bowl which makes a big dong! after everyone has prayed and lit their incense, the husband made a speech. it was obviously quite emotional because quite a few people broke down as he was speaking.
there were quite a few people from my eikaiwa class there, and afterwards when we went to pay our condolences to her husband and children ("goshuushosamadeshita"), he told us how much she loved english and would always tell him how much she wanted to travel abroad. kanashiikatta.
posted by Justine at 7:39 p.m.
2 Comments:
scary, scary shit. Life is short.
that's deep man. deep
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