Jusco toilets and other matters

so at the beginning of this week when i found myself housebound, immobile, and restless, i had a meager outlook for the week ahead. but i found that i'm able to use my bicycle after all as long as i keep my heel on the peddle. and, remarkably, i'm even able to use the stepper at the gym since the upward push is done mostly with my heel (as long as i'm wearing my trusty padded slippers instead of running shoes, as i'm unable to wear normal shoes at the moment.
last night i was hobbling around the Eon (Jusco) shopping "mall" with lindsay and while she was in a store trying on t-shirts (she's slim enough to actually be able to fit into japanese syzes...almost), i left her for a few minutes and went to the toilet.
while there, i knew she had quite a bit more shopping to do and felt i had a lot of time to kill. i decided to try out the various functions on the toilet since i reasoned that i can't live out my 3 years in japan without having used a mechanical toilet (except for the ones at hotels - i always use those). it's just something about a mechanical toilet in a shopping center or someone's house or even the ones at school which i always think is just a bit weird to use. i don't know why - i mean, that's what they're there for right?
so. back to the jusco shopping center toilets. they always have several functions including a heated seat (which you can adjust to the desired temperature), a fake 'flushing sound' that you may press in order to not become extremely excruciatingly embarrassed that someone might actually hear you pee..., and of course the 'front' and 'back' spray options that you can also adjust for pressure and accuracy. some toilets actually have like a hand-dryer (or, more like, ass-dryer) for when you're all finished.
anyway. so. i decided to try out the various functions. i pressed the 'front' button and decided, rather quickly, that i wanted it to stop. but i didn't see the "stop" kanji...and so i pressed the "back" button and the water stopped spraying. so, i was just in the process of standing up, and then suddenly the water came rushing forward in a high stream that shot straight up and between my legs, spraying the stall door in front of me! i thought it was so funny i started laughing out loud, at the same time trying to figure out how to get it to stop.
oh how i laughed.