still haven't settled

well, from today, i've 'officially' moved to toronto. kenny dropped me off in the beer truck yesterday, and i made my way to esther's.
as i'll be staying at esther's and then house-sitting, i won't actually have my own place until december 1st. which is fantastic while i don't have an income and can't pay rent...but stressful when i just can't feel like i can really settle. it's been nice over the past few weeks since i've been home, visiting with people, not having any major commitments, going to cottages and lazing about...
however, with this whole 'job hunt' hanging over my head, i just can't seem to fully relax and enjoy the time off. so starting (well, tomorrow i suppose) i do some transcribing work for a friend just to keep me afloat, and in the meantime, try to spend a few hours everyday online and checking out what's out there.
i do feel like this is where i need to be right now. i don't feel the urge to rush back to japan. of course i miss everyone copiously...but i have to get through this time right now.
i know that once i have a routine and a place and a stable income where i feel like i am getting some real experience, then i will actually feel as though i'm living my life here. because right now it still feels as though i'm just visiting.