Monday, November 14, 2005

story: part 1 (not written by me)

THE GOLDEN SNUFF-BOX
Once upon a time, and a very good time too, though it was not in my time, nor your time, nor for the matter of that in any one's time, there lived a man and a woman who had one son called Jack, and he was just terribly fond of reading books. He read, and he read, and then, because his parents lived in a lonely house in a lonely forest and he never saw any other folk but his father and his mother, he became quite crazy to go out into the world and see charming princesses and the like.
So one day he told his mother he must be off, and she called him an air-brained addle-pate, but added that, as he was no use at home, he had better go seek his fortune. Then she asked him if he would rather take a small cake with her blessing to eat on his journey, or a large cake with her curse? Now Jack was a very hungry lad, so he just up and said:
"A big cake, if you please, 'm."
So his mother made a great big cake, and when he started she just off to the top of the house and cast malisons on him, till he got out of sight. You see she had to do it, but after that she sate down and cried.
Well, Jack hadn't gone far till he came to a field where his father was ploughing. Now the goodman was dreadfully put out when he found his son was going away, and still more so when he heard he had chosen his mother's malison. So he cast about what to do to put things straight, and at last he drew out of his pocket a little golden snuff-box, and gave it to the lad, saying:
"If ever you are in danger of sudden death you may open the box; but not till then. It has been in our family for years and years; but, as we have lived, father and son, quietly in the forest, none of us have ever been in need of help—perhaps you may."
So Jack pocketed the golden snuff-box and went on his way.
Now, after a time, he grew very tired, and very hungry, for he had eaten his big cake first thing, and night closed in on him so that he could scarce see his way.
But at last he came to a large house and begged board and lodging at the back door. Now Jack was a good-looking young fellow, so the maid-servant at once called him in to the fireside and gave him plenty good meat and bread and beer. And it so happened that while he was eating his supper the master's gay young daughter came into the kitchen and saw him. So she went to her father and said that there was the prettiest young fellow she had ever seen in the back kitchen, and that if her father loved her he would give the young man some employment. Now the gentleman of the house was exceedingly fond of his gay young daughter, and did not want to vex her; so he went into the back kitchen and questioned Jack as to what he could do.
"Anything," said Jack gaily, meaning, of course, that he could do any foolish bit of work about a house.
But the gentleman saw a way of pleasing his gay young daughter and getting rid of the trouble of employing Jack; so he laughs and says, "If you can do anything, my good lad," says he, "you had better do this. By eight o'clock to-morrow morning you must have dug a lake four miles round in front of my mansion, and on it there must be floating a whole fleet of vessels. And they must range up in front of my mansion and fire a salute of guns. And the very last shot must break the leg of the four-post bed on which my daughter sleeps, for she is always late of a morning!"
Well! Jack was terribly flabbergasted, but he faltered out:
"And if I don't do it?"
"Then," said the master of the house quite calmly, "your life will be the forfeit."
So he bade the servants take Jack to a turret-room and lock the door on him.
Well! Jack sate on the side of his bed and tried to think things out, but he felt as if he didn't know b from a battledore, so he decided to think no more, and after saying his prayers he lay down and went to sleep. And he did sleep! When he woke it was close on eight o'clock, and he had only time to fly to the window and look out, when the great clock on the tower began to whirr before it struck the hour. And there was the lawn in front of the house all set with beds of roses and stocks and marigolds! Well! all of a sudden he remembered the little golden snuff-box.
"I'm near enough to death," quoth he to himself, as he drew it out and opened it.
And no sooner had he opened it than out hopped three funny little red men in red night-caps, rubbing their eyes and yawning; for, see you, they had been locked up in the box for years, and years, and years.
"What do you want, Master?" they said between their yawns. But Jack heard that clock a-whirring and knew he hadn't a moment to lose, so he just gabbled off his orders. Then the clock began to strike, and the little men flew out of the window, and suddenly

(to be continued at a later date)

by: Flora Annie Steel

12 Comments:

Blogger kittykat said...

sorry i got confused after the first sentence

9:53 p.m.  
Blogger Justine said...

fuck you kat,
it's for your amusement. you who sits at your desk all day looking up shit on the internet

10:02 p.m.  
Blogger kittykat said...

Haaaaaaaaaaaaa

ok, u got me.

this time

(\___/)
( O. o)
(> < ))))))

pika

10:30 p.m.  
Blogger Justine said...

it wasn't a joke, kat. you're really offensive. in fact, we are no longer friends. NO LONGER FRIENDS.
;)

10:51 p.m.  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LETS GANG UP ON KAT,

Its so much FUN!!!!

11:06 p.m.  
Blogger Justine said...

arite mr. indian...let's not start this again, eh?

12:40 a.m.  
Blogger kittykat said...

fuck you all

when i slit my wrists and die tonight youll all be sorry

12:58 a.m.  
Blogger Justine said...

kat,
bad taste. bad taste.

1:53 a.m.  
Blogger kittykat said...

i mean it

9:32 p.m.  
Blogger Justine said...

NOT FUNNY asshole

10:01 p.m.  
Blogger kittykat said...

n, oh my god ***grins*** ya'll like SO ANAL 'bout SHiT. ****Grins again**.

iM liKe SOOOO nOT inta- reStEd in dis SHIT no more!

n, ya, so...screw you ***grins***

10:23 p.m.  
Blogger Justine said...

shina?....SHINA?
YOU SOOOOOOOOO BUSTED!
you nasty robber!
i KILL you!
and i hear lindsay's got no good feelings for you eather!

12:09 a.m.  

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